cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
