Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
