My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
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just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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