Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
