Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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