I'm going to rape someone's good day.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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