u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize