Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just gargled with NyQuil
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
