There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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