when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
