Your mouth is God's brothel.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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