just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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