Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
