she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
