Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
