At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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