It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
