So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
