she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
