I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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