I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
