upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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