I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
