Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
