I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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