Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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