the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my sisters under your porch take her home
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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