For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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