my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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