I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
