this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
