i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You may now shotgun with the bride
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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