Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
