Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
