sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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