Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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