Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
