found the other keg... it's in the tree
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
