Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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