guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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