my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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