I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize