Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
