Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
