I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
