Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize