we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
