Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
