I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize