my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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