Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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