i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
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First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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