He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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