I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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