Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
