So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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