I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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