tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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