she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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