don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
