I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
