I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize