He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
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You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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