If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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