woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
